Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
we should paint friendship bongs
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