Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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