Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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