i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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