Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
