I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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