So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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