the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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