we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
