i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
