I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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