would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
