You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We have started to decorate penises.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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