did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
