using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
