is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
