I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
