i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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