sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
