ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
