i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
