Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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