There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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