I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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