....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
