Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
