he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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