Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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