I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We were destined to go to rehab together
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize