The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
