In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
