please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
