then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
