Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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