Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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