I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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