Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
