it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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