turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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