Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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