Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
