Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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