i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
