i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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