evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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