Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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