This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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