apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
