Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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