Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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