Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
