Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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