The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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