:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
