So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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