Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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