I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
