Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize