Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There r osticjed everywhere
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
