In America we eat man semen.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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