My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
