just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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