I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
