that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
